I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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