I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
