Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(650): View more from California

I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(650): I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it http://tfl.nu/nnzm

Replies (15) Good night (1068) Bad night (3711) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(603): View more from New Hampshire

I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(603): I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part. http://tfl.nu/7yrx

Replies (8) Good night (5023) Bad night (950) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(361): View more from Texas

I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(361): I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off. http://tfl.nu/sc97

Replies (21) Good night (4183) Bad night (1372) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(443): View more from Maryland

also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(443): also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs http://tfl.nu/bzfk

Replies (3) Good night (2181) Bad night (801) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(804): View more from Virginia

Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(804): Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick. http://tfl.nu/rxn3

Replies (17) Good night (4263) Bad night (879) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(347): View more from New York

i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(347): i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick. http://tfl.nu/65g9

Replies (10) Good night (2433) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(214): View more from Texas

He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(214): He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash. http://tfl.nu/jj6x

Replies (7) Good night (1836) Bad night (690)
Favorite
(906): View more from Michigan

You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(906): You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!" http://tfl.nu/38or

Replies (10) Good night (2449) Bad night (491) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(651): View more from Minnesota

Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(651): Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize. http://tfl.nu/ao6w

Replies (5) Good night (1926) Bad night (510)
Favorite
(785): View more from Kansas

I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(785): I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous http://tfl.nu/ltir

Replies (14) Good night (1077) Bad night (567) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug http://tfl.nu/u06h

Replies (3) Good night (474) Bad night (713) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(323): View more from California

We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(323): We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40. http://tfl.nu/6iay

Replies (4) Good night (914) Bad night (439) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(512): View more from Texas

Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(512): Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference. http://tfl.nu/5ngp

Replies (6) Good night (659) Bad night (350) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(408): View more from California

so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(408): so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing http://tfl.nu/s8yq

Replies (15) Good night (2232) Bad night (367)
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top. http://tfl.nu/luup

Replies (10) Good night (974) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: