brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize