I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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