Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
