before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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