I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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