oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize