I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
sarcasm needs its own font
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
