my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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