Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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