Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize