he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Don't make out with my wife yet
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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