I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize