Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize