dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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