You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
