***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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