did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize