Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
