when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
