Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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