can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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