seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize