Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.

(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.

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(508): Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen. (781): I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night. (508): Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street. http://tfl.nu/mnwi

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(903): View more from Texas

And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either

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(903): And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either http://tfl.nu/k8z3

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(647): View more from Ontario

after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me

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(647): after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me http://tfl.nu/6bhb

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(952): View more from Minnesota

He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.

(320): View more from Minnesota

Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.

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(952): He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job. (320): Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud. http://tfl.nu/wke9

Replies (38) Good night (7552) Bad night (617)
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(630): View more from Illinois

She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.

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(630): She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend. http://tfl.nu/zf6u

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(303): View more from Colorado

This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.

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(303): This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now. http://tfl.nu/jc3w

Replies (25) Good night (1251) Bad night (4894)
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(801): View more from Utah

he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?

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(801): he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have? http://tfl.nu/qwp7

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(740): View more from Ohio

Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?

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(740): Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory? http://tfl.nu/3lqg

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now

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(570): Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now http://tfl.nu/f08u

Replies (20) Good night (2805) Bad night (1213)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.

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(504): You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna. http://tfl.nu/5wvv

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(651): View more from Minnesota

She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."

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(651): She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name." http://tfl.nu/v79x

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(419): View more from Ohio

I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.

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(419): I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned. http://tfl.nu/xmxl

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(678): View more from Georgia

Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?

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(678): Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend? http://tfl.nu/mjnu

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(240): View more from Maryland

SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP

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(240): SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP http://tfl.nu/udxy

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(845): View more from New York

So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...

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(845): So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first... http://tfl.nu/kd9w

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