Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.

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(484): In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas. http://tfl.nu/7vr2

Replies (11) Good night (3438) Bad night (1446)
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(802): View more from Vermont

We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."

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(802): We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money." http://tfl.nu/9u0b

Replies (12) Good night (1376) Bad night (6016)
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(315): View more from New York

He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender

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(315): He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender http://tfl.nu/9vxe

Replies (23) Good night (2079) Bad night (4763)
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(716): View more from New York

My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.

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(716): My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu. http://tfl.nu/wnz4

Replies (4) Good night (4092) Bad night (833)
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(585): View more from New York

I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out

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(585): I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out http://tfl.nu/5zzk

Replies (1) Good night (1692) Bad night (664)
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(614): View more from Ohio

not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...

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(614): not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin... http://tfl.nu/5fas

Replies (29) Good night (3124) Bad night (956)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year

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(267): he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year http://tfl.nu/s0i5

Replies (2) Good night (1246) Bad night (553)
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(551): View more from New Jersey

Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.

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(551): Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win. http://tfl.nu/l1vw

Replies (12) Good night (1547) Bad night (567)
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(719): View more from Colorado

And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.

(607): View more from New York

I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero

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(719): And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot. (607): I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero http://tfl.nu/sawz

Replies (2) Good night (1858) Bad night (505)
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(440): View more from Ohio

The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.

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(440): The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult. http://tfl.nu/70ah

Replies (5) Good night (696) Bad night (425)
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(775): View more from Nevada

I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies

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(775): I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies http://tfl.nu/5tdh

Replies (1) Good night (576) Bad night (622)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.

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(502): I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did. http://tfl.nu/zibd

Replies (4) Good night (630) Bad night (313)
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(540): View more from Virginia

He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.

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(540): He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog. http://tfl.nu/zanv

Replies (0) Good night (411) Bad night (542)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera

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(413): fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera http://tfl.nu/o2wd

Replies (3) Good night (762) Bad night (521)
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(214): View more from Texas

I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.

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(214): I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me. http://tfl.nu/t1tl

Replies (1) Good night (607) Bad night (347)

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