Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
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I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
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On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.