Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.

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  (770): I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too. http://tfl.nu/c8jr
  Replies (24) Good night (819) Bad night (4218)
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  (951): View more from California

  I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.

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  (951): I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on. http://tfl.nu/klvy
  Replies (32) Good night (758) Bad night (4780)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  tonight, alcohol would be proud of us

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  (778): tonight, alcohol would be proud of us http://tfl.nu/7h3d
  Replies (10) Good night (5094) Bad night (682)
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  (516): View more from New York

  My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say

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  (516): My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say http://tfl.nu/znzu
  Replies (32) Good night (1929) Bad night (5242)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.

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  (817): look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now. http://tfl.nu/dr20
  Replies (14) Good night (3928) Bad night (1393)
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  (+33): View more from France

  On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."

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  (+33): On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..." http://tfl.nu/o65f
  Replies (26) Good night (7958) Bad night (1544)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  She just said, "are my livers going to die?"

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  (517): She just said, "are my livers going to die?" http://tfl.nu/litp
  Replies (12) Good night (3341) Bad night (1175)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.

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  (205): Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am. http://tfl.nu/dyri
  Replies (6) Good night (1974) Bad night (1134)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.

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  (207): Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I? (1-207): I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me. http://tfl.nu/4usu
  Replies (5) Good night (2816) Bad night (882)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night

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  (937): They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night http://tfl.nu/quiu
  Replies (6) Good night (1993) Bad night (479)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents

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  (519): I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents http://tfl.nu/4hgt
  Replies (2) Good night (1407) Bad night (395)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs

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  (717): Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs http://tfl.nu/5gk3
  Replies (1) Good night (319) Bad night (266)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter

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  (+61): im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter http://tfl.nu/2kon
  Replies (1) Good night (535) Bad night (214)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.

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  (218): If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/s3qv
  Replies (0) Good night (592) Bad night (300)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts

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  (610): Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts http://tfl.nu/c7v2
  Replies (0) Good night (475) Bad night (322)

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