My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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