what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize