I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
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Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
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Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
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