She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize