the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.