I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos