Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?