She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize