Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
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Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference