I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.