I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
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