I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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