Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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