Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize