I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.