I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I don't want my vagina anymore.