I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people