we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
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You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
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googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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