i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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