R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
