i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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