i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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