Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.