and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
