my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
