a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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