let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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