just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize