I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
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